I just love this video.

This was taken of my nephew (God-son) Nolan in California with the FLIP VIDEO my Uncle Bob gave us for Christmas.

My 30th Birthday 12-22

Turning 30 wasn't something I was looking forward to (at all) I remember when my parents and friends of the family turned 30 when I was young, and they would throw these Over the Hill birthday parties for each other, where everyone would bring black and gray presents and gag stuff consisting of fake old people pills and diapers....I always thought that 30 was pretty old. I just couldn't believe that that was me now....So many goals I had set for myself too and you hit a landmark birthday and think to yourself which ones have I accomplished? I wanted to be a mother by now. Seriously, I think that is my hardest thing to face because I almost was. I should have had a career by now. What am I doing? I'm a student again. Which I actually don't mind because I feel it took me this long to get to a place where I was happy back in school and I totally enjoy my studies and am fortunate that I am allowed to attend school without having to work. (Thank you Alain)-but still...
But in reality, turning 30 wasn't so bad. I thought it would be horrible. I'm still not happy about the whole baby thing, but what can I do? Nothing. My husband is deployed and he has been gone for a good chunk of our marriage. There is nothing I can do about that. I lost the baby we had...I can't get him back-so get over it. What can I do?...Nothing. I gave it everything I had and it didn't work. Hopefully we won't go through the same struggles when he returns from Afghanistan.
I actually think this is a good time for me to be back in school. I am so happy to be in school it's crazy. I love it! You ask me how I liked school 12 years ago and I was frustrated and confused, unfocused and bored. Just wasting the money that was given to me by my grandfather taking classes and then getting bored. How fortunate was I to be given money and not have to worry about school and then not finish? It's because I truly didn't know myself well enough to pursue a career. At the age of 18 you are expected to know what you want to do with the rest of your life. I didn't know.
Now I love it. So it's not bad. Maybe I'm finally grown up enough to be able to buckle down and get this done. I have a whole year to get as much school out of the way. I start more classes on Monday and instead of dreading it, I'm excited. I told Alain last night on the phone that I'm excited that school starts again on Monday and he asked me if I was being sarcastic?, and I said "No-I'm really excited"---and it's true. I am.


So I went home for my 30th Birthday and Christmas. Alain was gone and I knew I'd be depressed so I went home. I got to see friends and family and it was awesome and made the whole "turning 30" easier. It was good to see everyone and thank you for coming out.